Is a black woman who relaxes her hair or wears a weave practicing self-hatred? How about any black man or woman who exclusively dates outside the black race? Is it self-hatred or just a lust for something different. Black women have been relaxing their hair for decades, not because of a need to be white but because it makes our kinky hair easier to manage and it looks nice. It's purely vanity, not hatred. I have never been a fan of weaves but I don't begrudge those who feel the need to wear one. A good weave looks nice and most people who don't have long hair crave it. Weaves are the perfect solution.The only time I begin to wonder if someone hates her self because of her skin color and/or race is when I see a woman with blond weaves and blue contacts. There are no black people born with blond hair and blue eyes. It's one thing if blond hair complements your skin color, but blue eyes is just wrong and if you are too dark for a blond weave, I definitely believe you have some self-image problems. As for those who date exclusively outside our race, well either you hate yourself and what your skin color has come to represent or you legitimately don't find black men/women attractive and not because of their skin color or "attitude"or other asinine reason, if that's possible.
The question I have is why are we the only race that seems to deal with self-hatred. You never see white people telling those of their race who have genuinely defected to the other side that they hate themselves, why is that? Is it because of the long history blacks have had with being race conscious and feeling inferior? Why don't we love our kinky hair or dark skin? Our voluptuous lips and hips and bottoms? We should because apparently every other culture grave what we have naturally. So I believe it is time we learned to love these things about ourselves and be proud of who we are and how we look. We are all beautiful because of the uniqueness of our race. We com in all shades and shapes, with varied features and we have hair with the most versatility. We should embrace our blackness and love the way we look.
1 comment:
I do believe there is self hatred involved in those situations in a lot of cases and I believe it has everything to do with our history in this country (and in the rest of the world). I know some black women relax their hair just because its easier, but I can remember black kids teasing other black kids for being "nappy-headed", long before any of us were doing our own hair or knew that it was hard to do. At the time I first began to hear this ignorance, I was living in an all black neighborhood and attending an all black school, so everyone (at least at that age) had nappy hair. Taunting over black features (big lips, dark skin, nappy hair) begins early which leads me to believe that it has a lot to do with self hatred. I wonder why there are so many black parents teaching their kids to hate themselves.
As for exclusively dating out of your race, I just can't imagine that anyone can completely exclude their own race without there being some level of hatred there. I mean, when we were in Africa all alone, can you imagine someone swearing off dating other blacks? Im sure that didnt happen until we integrated, which leads me to believe it is learned hatred or at least a bad way to resolve past hurt.
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