Purpose

Have you ever felt like you weren't doing anything with your life? You know you have a purpose in life but you just don't know what it is. Sometimes I feel so strongly that I am just letting my life pass me by and in 15 years I'm going to wish for the days that I have wasted doing nothing. I've always felt that I was meant to do something to help other people, yet I can't seem to figure out exactly what that something is or even how to go about finding a way to figure it out. Some days I feel like a shell of a person and that I am just letting life pass me by. I'm merely existing, not truly living. I hate that feeling, but I don't know what to do. Maybe it's fear holding me back, I'm really not sure. I just believe I should be doing something to help others and it seems that whatever that is I am going to have to do on my own. Being a Pisces, it's natural for me to want to help others. I don't mean giving a homeless person a dollar, but really making a difference. That's what I want to do with my life. It's more important than being rich. I feel so much for other people that sometimes I'm taken advantage of because I need to believe that there is still good in the world. I'm feeling a little lost though, trying to find my way in a world where everyone is giving up on each other. We as a society have become so selfish and self-involved, all we care about is what we want and need. Forget about the next guy who has absolutely nothing do to no fault of his own. Maybe if we spent a little more time helping others, society wouldn't be in the state it is today. It breaks my heart to see so many children committing crimes, joining gangs, murdering other people for no real reason at all. Locking them up doesn't solve the problem. They are replaced with other willing kids ready to "get rich or die tryin". I find myself constantly wondering what went wrong and can these same children be saved and if so what can I do to save them. I hate the world we live in. There is no peace, no love, only war. We are all at war with each other. Whether it's for a job or for oil, we are all at battle. Will it only get worse as time continues on? Will we lose more of our children to the streets, jail or the grave? Will we continue to become so self-centered that we forget what helping others is altogether? Will we continue on this destructive path and cease to be human at all. Being human requires the ability to care and feel. People who no longer do those things are no longer human in my eyes. They are the aliens. The evil doers. I refuse to lose my humanity and soul for materialistic things. I will forever be human. I've seen a lot of things in my 27 years on this planet, I've experienced some things that could have weakened my resolve to help others. I could have stopped loving a long time ago but I refuse to become that soulless person. We all have a choice in what type of person we are or will become. Will you allow the actions of others to control the choices you make? To decide the type of person you will be? Or will you refuse to lose your faith in the midst of the storm and hold strong to all that you believe in? My faith is constantly being tested and sometimes I seem to fail. But to fail means to give up and that is something I refuse to do. Even on my worse days, I still keep a glimmer of hope that one day I will succeed in helping others and maybe making the world a better place for my children or grandchildren. Without this faith, I am nothing.