Breadwinner

Does it really matter who brings home the bacon? It seems that more and more women are becoming the breadwinners in there households. Some men can't handle it. Society has taught us that a man should take care of the woman, he should support her and she should take care of the home. Many men are insecure when it comes to dating women who makes more money than them. It's time to get over that insecurity. I see nothing wrong with a man making less money than a woman. It's time for men to see how it feels to have to do the laundry, cook dinner, take of the kids after school. They need that experience in order to truly appreciate the things that women do. If I end up making more money that my man, than so be it. Once you're married you become one. What's his becomes yours and what's yours becomes his. They is no me, it's all about we. Your are a family and it shouldn't matter who brings home more money as long as you love each other and are secure in your relationship. Women are not docile creatures and we aren't the property of men anymore. We are equal to men or better than them. We see the world from a different perspective and we understand the changing times. We push for change, yet some men can't seem to move pass the past. They can't accept that women are no longer relying on them for support, they don't know how to accept their new role. This causes a lot of potential relationships to end or never truly begin and destroys some marriages. It's time to get over it. Times have changed and the roles of men and women in society have changed for the better. Once men can accept this, more women may be willing to date guys who make less than them. A lot of women are tired of guys being turned off because they are professionals and make a nice income. it's not our fault if a lot of brothas don't have educations or don't have the drive to better themselves. We didn't do it. They did it to themselves. We grew up in the same environments as they did, yet we managed to make it. Don't blame us for your shortcomings. Don't feel inferior because you don't make a lot of money. They are alot of professional women who are more than willing to date a man who makes less money, they just want someone who will treat them right. That's more important than any amount of money.

Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Why haven't politician's learned their lessons yet? Why is it that they continue to get caught in compromising positions? These men are supposed to be our "leaders" yet they can't even get infidelity right. I don't expect them to be faithful, that would be asking too much. I just ask that if you cheat, learn how not to get caught. I'm sure all these men have friends who are notorious cheaters who have yet to get caught, ask for some pointers. I just don't get it, at least weigh the cost/benefit analysis. Is a piece of ass worth your career, Bill, Gov. Spitzer, Larry Craig? Men as a whole suck as cheating, they don't know how to cover their tracks, but there are some men who excel at it. To be the wife of any one who is constantly in the spotlight has to be difficult, you have to play your role as loving wife regardless of what's really going on in your personal life. Of course, some women know how to use their men's inability to keep his pants zipped to their advantage. I see nothing wrong with that, milk him for all he's worth. You deserve something out of the relationship.

Paying for a prostitute, hooker, call girl escort, whatever you want to call it, is just stupid when you are a high profile person. The odds of you getting found out is extremely high. Paying someone for sex is illegal, the person you pay will inevitably get caught. When that happens,, guess what, you get found out. Whether it's through an FBI wiretap, the call girl spilling her guts, or just some random person seeing you. You will get caught. You'd be better off sleeping with a colleagues wife, at least she'll have something to lose too.

Depression in the Black Community

While in Border's, I came across a book concerning the role depression has played in the lives of black America. I can't remember the name of the book at this exact moment but I will look for it the next time I'm in Border's. The book's jacket mentioned how depression has had a hand in the level of crime, violence, sex, and drugs that runs rampant in the black community. I began to ponder this idea a little more and came to conclude that they may be on to something. My boyfriend pointed out to me how in America, poor white Americans usually live in rural areas while poor black Americans normally live in urban environments surrounded by the wealth of white Americans. Blacks are subjected to the knowledge that they have nothing on a daily basis while poor whites are usually secluded from this daily reminder of their status in life. And on the hypocrisy and prejudice of Americans and one can see why blacks have a reason to be depressed.
Black people are notorious for shunning the idea of psychiatric help and instead relying on self- help or self-medication to deal with the problems in their lives. We drink and do drugs so we won't have to think about our problems. We don't want to face reality because reality sucks. Drugs and alcohol let's you forget about the pain. They are two of the most common outlets utilized in American culture regardless of race. We have sex because it makes us feel good temporarily, it makes us feel wanted and special. It allows you to put your problems at the hopelessness and that's all depression really is, a feeling of hopelessness. When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. I don't advocate crime, but I can understand how circumstances can lead someone to commit certain crimes. Of course I have never understood why people rob people who don't have anything just like they don't.

Depression is not the reason for all the actions of black people, but it is definitely a contributing factor. Depression is not something to be taken lightly. It does actually require help. We all feel down at times, but being clinically depressed is a serious issue. Self-medicating doesn't help the situation, it only exacerbates it. There needs to be a way to reach people and offer help. We as a black community owe it to ourselves, our children, and our communities to help each other. Black America's station in society is reaching an all time low and it is up to us to help ourselves because no one else will. If we don't do anything to help each other, we can count on more depression which will lead to even more drugs use, alcohol abuse, unprotected sex, and crime. And none of us want that.

Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness

This past week at work, i managed to contract the stomach flu or rather gastroenteritis. For those of you who don't know what this is, let me enlighten you. This is an viral infection of the intestines. This is nothing like influenza. This illness causes painful abdominal cramps, vomiting, diarrhea, possible fever, chills, and dizziness. It is no joke. The only good thing about it is that it doesn't last long. By the second day, i was already feeling better. But the first night was hell, I literally felt like someone was trying to yang my insides out. i thought I was going to die. All this because someone either contaminated my food or serving utensils, let me explain. At my current job we are provided lunch on a daily basis. Nice healthy well-rounded meals. So of course everyone takes advantage of it. Last week people started dropping like flies, complaining of the stomach flu and I subsequently became a victim. Stomach flu is highly contagious and is usually spread by interaction with someone who has it, such as kissing, things of that nature; or by eating contaminated food that has been prepared by someone with the virus or by touching things that have been touched by someone with the virus who hasn't washed his/her hands. All this could have been avoided if people would just wash their hands!!! I lost two days pay and went through hell, all because somebody refuses to wash his/her nasty hands. What is wrong with people? I don't know if it was one of the food preparers, although I normally see them with gloves, or one of my nasty co-workers. Regardless, it takes all of twenty seconds to was your hands. I've seen women leave the restroom and walk right past the sink like it's not even there. Why? It's just gross. Washing your hands is one of the easiest task asked of a person. It's all to prevent things like this from happening. Now that I know there are some people at my job who don't believe in washing their filthy hands. I will be washing my hands after I touch anything in that office and i have no plans of eating lunch there anytime soon. I'm also thinking about investing in gloves. I'm no germaphobe but the pain I experienced two days ago was enough to make me more cautious. So this is my cautionary tale. Please be careful of eating out and wash your hands after touching anything someone else has touched. I learned my lesson a little too late, hopefully you won't.

I'm sorry the blog has not been updated. I am not feeling well but as soon as I do I will write more blogs that I hope you all will enjoy.

Keci

Self-hatred

Is a black woman who relaxes her hair or wears a weave practicing self-hatred? How about any black man or woman who exclusively dates outside the black race? Is it self-hatred or just a lust for something different. Black women have been relaxing their hair for decades, not because of a need to be white but because it makes our kinky hair easier to manage and it looks nice. It's purely vanity, not hatred. I have never been a fan of weaves but I don't begrudge those who feel the need to wear one. A good weave looks nice and most people who don't have long hair crave it. Weaves are the perfect solution.The only time I begin to wonder if someone hates her self because of her skin color and/or race is when I see a woman with blond weaves and blue contacts. There are no black people born with blond hair and blue eyes. It's one thing if blond hair complements your skin color, but blue eyes is just wrong and if you are too dark for a blond weave, I definitely believe you have some self-image problems. As for those who date exclusively outside our race, well either you hate yourself and what your skin color has come to represent or you legitimately don't find black men/women attractive and not because of their skin color or "attitude"or other asinine reason, if that's possible.

The question I have is why are we the only race that seems to deal with self-hatred. You never see white people telling those of their race who have genuinely defected to the other side that they hate themselves, why is that? Is it because of the long history blacks have had with being race conscious and feeling inferior? Why don't we love our kinky hair or dark skin? Our voluptuous lips and hips and bottoms? We should because apparently every other culture grave what we have naturally. So I believe it is time we learned to love these things about ourselves and be proud of who we are and how we look. We are all beautiful because of the uniqueness of our race. We com in all shades and shapes, with varied features and we have hair with the most versatility. We should embrace our blackness and love the way we look.

Purpose

Have you ever felt like you weren't doing anything with your life? You know you have a purpose in life but you just don't know what it is. Sometimes I feel so strongly that I am just letting my life pass me by and in 15 years I'm going to wish for the days that I have wasted doing nothing. I've always felt that I was meant to do something to help other people, yet I can't seem to figure out exactly what that something is or even how to go about finding a way to figure it out. Some days I feel like a shell of a person and that I am just letting life pass me by. I'm merely existing, not truly living. I hate that feeling, but I don't know what to do. Maybe it's fear holding me back, I'm really not sure. I just believe I should be doing something to help others and it seems that whatever that is I am going to have to do on my own. Being a Pisces, it's natural for me to want to help others. I don't mean giving a homeless person a dollar, but really making a difference. That's what I want to do with my life. It's more important than being rich. I feel so much for other people that sometimes I'm taken advantage of because I need to believe that there is still good in the world. I'm feeling a little lost though, trying to find my way in a world where everyone is giving up on each other. We as a society have become so selfish and self-involved, all we care about is what we want and need. Forget about the next guy who has absolutely nothing do to no fault of his own. Maybe if we spent a little more time helping others, society wouldn't be in the state it is today. It breaks my heart to see so many children committing crimes, joining gangs, murdering other people for no real reason at all. Locking them up doesn't solve the problem. They are replaced with other willing kids ready to "get rich or die tryin". I find myself constantly wondering what went wrong and can these same children be saved and if so what can I do to save them. I hate the world we live in. There is no peace, no love, only war. We are all at war with each other. Whether it's for a job or for oil, we are all at battle. Will it only get worse as time continues on? Will we lose more of our children to the streets, jail or the grave? Will we continue to become so self-centered that we forget what helping others is altogether? Will we continue on this destructive path and cease to be human at all. Being human requires the ability to care and feel. People who no longer do those things are no longer human in my eyes. They are the aliens. The evil doers. I refuse to lose my humanity and soul for materialistic things. I will forever be human. I've seen a lot of things in my 27 years on this planet, I've experienced some things that could have weakened my resolve to help others. I could have stopped loving a long time ago but I refuse to become that soulless person. We all have a choice in what type of person we are or will become. Will you allow the actions of others to control the choices you make? To decide the type of person you will be? Or will you refuse to lose your faith in the midst of the storm and hold strong to all that you believe in? My faith is constantly being tested and sometimes I seem to fail. But to fail means to give up and that is something I refuse to do. Even on my worse days, I still keep a glimmer of hope that one day I will succeed in helping others and maybe making the world a better place for my children or grandchildren. Without this faith, I am nothing.