Just When I Thought The World Couldn't Get Any Worse....

I read two of the most horrific child abuse stories within one week of each other. The abuse inflicted on these children went beyond anything I could even imagine and by the parents no less. Stories like these reaffirm my believe that certain people should not be allowed to have children. In one instance, the parents tied their child to a tree overnight and he died. Then the mother, her girlfriend, and the babysitter of a five year old tortured her child relentlessly. They made him sit in his own urine and feces, they broke his teeth, burned his hand on the stove, and he was malnutritioned. Who are these people and why were the parents ever blessed with children? No child deserves such a miserable existence. I will never understand why children are born into such horrible situations. What's the purpose?

The people in the world seem to be more depraved than ever. More and more people are engaging in sadistic behavior. Is this the fault of the parents, the environment, or are these just inherently evil people? The world has become such a dangerous place that ordinary killings and robberies have become commonplace. People aren't even shocked anymore. Will this trend ever reverse or will things become so bad that people won't even blink at the news of child torture?

Is The Internet Making People Dumber

Recently I read an article about a study published by a professor who claims that the Internet has made people dumber--- the use of instant/text message slang, the decline of newspaper readership, and just outright less use of the brain. The Internet was designed to revolutionize the way people access information making them more efficient and knowledgeable, yet this professor claims it has had the opposite effect, especially on kids. Of course one could argue that the Internet has made information more readily available and accessible, information that people would never have gotten otherwise. This includes the news from around the world, learning of other cultures from friends made via Internet half a world away. The Internet has also made it harder for people to commit wrongdoing and get away with it. It's true less people read the newspaper, but sites like CNN has a very high traffic volume. We could blame the decline of book reading amongst children and teens on the Internet, but to be honest, children weren't reading much anyway since the immense popularity of video games. The Internet actually provides a way for those same kids to gather information they otherwise would not have sought out because it would have meant reading a book. We as a society can't blame the Internet for making people dumber, if people are getting dumber there are a host of factors to consider, including video game play, parent's not concerned about their children's education, school's focus on testing and not necessarily learning, television, ...etc. There are so many factors that may contribute to our kids being viewed as dumber. I don't believe out children are getting dumber, I believe that just don't know the things we were taught in school. They have no real use for them. Sure a child may not know Shakespeare, but if he can program a computer game, he's a technical genius. People aren't necessarily getting dumber, but rather focusing on areas that actually interest them and pertain to our new technology driven world. Besides not being book smart doesn't necessarily lead to the label of dumb. Dumb is a word overused by people who are book smart and who are extremely single minded. Sure there are dumb people out their and usually they are the ones with the education and no common sense.

OWN IT!!!!!

I was once told that my successes are my successes and my failures are my failures and no matter what I had to own them both. People are quick to own their successes and often time even the success of others, but when it comes to their failures, they prefer to point the finger at everyone and everything else besides themselves. It's time we owned our failures just as much as we own our successes. Most people feel as if failure is a sign of weakness and an inability to succeed, but we all fail at something at some point in our lives. No one is perfect. Failing is a part of life, no one can win all the time.

There are many times in my life that I have felt like a failure. When I graduated law school and was still jobless, I felt like a failure. When I found myself pregnant at 16 and then again at 21, I felt like a failure. Every time I get rejected for a job I feel like a failure, it's a natural feeling. There's nothing wrong with failing sometimes but the key to succeeding is to own your failings and use them to help you grow as a person and become a success. Taking responsibility is hard for some people, it makes them feel better to place the blame on others. That is not the way to succeed in life because at some point your actions will catch up with you and the result will be twice as bad as what it would have been if you would have just accepted the blame for your actions originally. We all make mistakes and bad judgment calls and we can all move pass whatever failure we have experienced. This I believe.

When I got pregnant while still in high school, I felt I had failed not only myself but everyone who was looking at me to make something of myself, there was no one else to blame for thepredicament I found myself in but me, so I owned up to my failure. But as my mother and grandmother reminded me, I wasn't a failure. They said we all make mistakes and we should learn from them, they babysat while I went to school, they didn't see me as a failure and that meant so much to me. Without them, who knows where I would be right now. By owning up to what I felt was a failure, I was able to get the support of my family to help me achieve my goals. When you own up to your failures and accept them as yours, people will respect you more and be more willing to help. So the next time you make a bad decision or a wrong turn in life, own it and it will only help you in life.

Pride

As a whole, black people have always been prideful people; never wanting to ask for help or wanting to burden anyone with their problems. There are many of us nowadays who are more than willing to accept a handout, hell we get mad if we don't get it. What happened? Personally, I have more pride than I probably should have. I hate asking anyone for anything and that goes for family too; I always think I can figure it all out on my own. This can be a great attribute, but it is also often a hindrance. Pride can interfere with relationships and friendships because sometimes we all need somebody even when we don't want to admit it and that can drive away the very people we care about.

Pride can be a wonderful thing. Black people used to take pride in the fact that they could always make a way even in the face of adversity without having to go and beg the "man" for anything. We were a stubborn, classy, prideful people. This form of pride seems to have gone by the way side and replaced with people who enjoy being on welfare and not taking care of their own children.

Pride can also destroy a person, it truly does pay to be humble sometimes. Yes one should take a certain amount of pride in his/her success but one should also realize that he/she didn't do it alone and should be thankful and grateful to others for helping them along the way, whether those helping were here physically or spiritually. I know that I would not have made it as far as I have in life without the help of others and although I am proud of how far I've come, I still recognize and appreciate all the sacrifices others made to help me get to where I am. Also, knowing where I come from and where I can always return keeps me humble and grateful for the blessings I have received.

Pride has prohibited many people from getting the help they need, but it also has lead to others receiving the respect they deserve. Pride encompasses the good and the bad, just never let it control you and get in the way of your life.

Time

I recently found out a friend's younger brother died suddenly with no explanation. He was 20. This took me by major shock. His death got me to thinking about how much we take for granted the people in our lives; always expecting there to be a tomorrow. Sometimes tomorrow never comes. Christmas before last my ex-boyfriend's father committed suicide with no note, leaving his family with no explanation. We always take for granted the time we have here on Earth to spend with those we care about, when we don't really know when that time will come to a crashing halt. It's time we begin to cherish the time we have here and make the most of the time we have with those we care about.

Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, and we should live our lives with that thought in mind. So don't go to bed mad at your significant other, tell your kids you love them, tell your parents how much you appreciate the sacrifices they made for you and how much you love them, and most of all enjoy the time you have here. We spend so much time worrying about tomorrow that we forget to live for today. Time is not on our side. We have to live each day like it's our last, because it just might be. I am not trying to be morbid or somber, I just want everyone to take a look at his/her lives and assess the quality of their relationships with others and with one's self. If you aren't happy with the assessment, make a change now; because you may not be able to do so tomorrow. Don't allow sorrow, fear, unhappiness bog your life down, instead find the source of these feelings and do what it takes to cut them out of your life. My life is far from perfect and where I want it, but I now realize how blessed I am to have a man who loves me for me, two beautiful healthy children and a family that cares about me and has my back even if we don't always get along.

Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently"

That is one of my favorite quotes. I love the message it sends. It often reminds me of the gospel song "We Fall Down". "We fall down, but we get up"; those words mean so much to me. Because the only person who can stop you is you. Sure other people will place obstacles in your way, but it is up to you to get over, under, or around those obstacles. If you truly want something, you won't let anyone stop you from getting it, whether it's true love, a job you love, or providing for your family. If you believe in God and put your faith first and trust in your self, you will overcome any obstacle. It may not be today or tomorrow or even next week, but you will eventually overcome the obstacle. We often want to give up when things get hard. I know I feel like it at times, but then I have to ask myself if I am really willing to allow someone else to control me, prevent men from getting what I deserve. Many people can't handle rejection or criticism, I used to be like that mainly because I never experienced real rejection until a couple of years back and I didn't know how to handle it. I often times would find my self crying and asking God why he was allowing these things to happen to me. I viewed myself as a good person and couldn't understand why I had to go through so much pain; but you can't have happiness without some pain. I still don't like being rejected but I know my capabilities and I know that the person who rejected me just missed out on something great. Why should I beat myself up and hate myself and the world just because some people don't necessarily believe in me. As long as I believe in me and in God, I know I'll be alright.

I'm not trying to be preachy, but it just seems as if we too often allow other people's opinions define who we are, when these people don't truly know us to begin with. Everyone struggles at some point in their lives, we all get down in the dumps and dislike the hand that was dealt us; but should we allow this to stop us from playing that bad hand to best of out ability and maybe bluffing our way into winning? Only we can stop ourselves permanently, only we have the power to convince ourselves that we are good enough or vice-versa. The more stock with put into the opinions of others, the less stock we put into out opinions of ourselves. Every parent owes it to his/her child to show them that they can overcome obstacles and can make it. Sure you may not get everything you want, most people don't; but you can achieve real happiness if you allow yourself to love yourself enough to never give up and to stand up for what you believe. And remember everything looks better when you are on the outside looking in. Don't allow yourself or your children to lose faith, it is the cornerstone to getting back up when you've been knocked down. Only you know how good or bad you really are, so don't allow anyone else to define you. Because "others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently," always remember that!!!!!!!!

New Beginnings

As I await patiently to find out whether or not I will be relocating to Chicago, I am beginning to see my potential relocation as a new beginning. Lately I have felt bogged down by my life in the district and I believe a new state, new city, new surroundings will benefit my psyche. Sometimes it is imperative to start over; otherwise you can become so consumed by all the different things going on in your life that you lose perspective on what's really important. A new beginning is a way to start fresh, to leave the past in the past, to leave all the worries and discouraging things behind.

Since graduating from law school, I haven't had the best of luck and I am hoping a new place will bring new blessings and happiness. Of course, this will still require some effort and patience on my part, but I am looking forward to starting my new life. My new beginning isn't just a new place to live but it involves a new life. A life as a family, instead of just a single mother with a boyfriend. A life with the man I love and my beautiful children. These are the things that make a house a home and that will bring me the most joy in my new life.

A new beginning can start at anytime, one just has to have the will and patience to start over. If your old life isn't working and you aren't happy, it's time to start over. Put the fear aside and do something to make you happy. A new beginning doesn't necessarily have to be a physical thing, it can be completely mental. A new way of viewing the world, a new outlook on life; these are ways to have a new beginning. Most people want to start over or fresh in their lives at some point, and they should. This is the only life we have, so live it to the fullest. Don't let fear stop you. I am ready to embrace my new life and hopefully something wonderful will come from it. Being positive goes a long way. It is the first step in making a change. Go ahead, try it, and I guarantee you wont regret it. Until next time.....peace!!!!!