What's Wrong With Me?

That questions has crossed the minds of millions of young people over the years who question why a parent or both parents didn't love them enough to care for them or even be present. It's a question I used to ask myself whenever I would wonder why my father wasn't part of my life. What was so wrong with me that he couldn't stand to be a part of my life? That he didn't want to acknowledge my existence? There's only one right answer to the question and that is nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me or any other child who has an absentee parent(s) from his/her life. We are not the bad guys. We did not ask to be born. We don't deserve to be treated any less than anyone else.

The problem does not lie with us but rather with the absentee parent. He or she wasn't man/woman enough to take responsibility for what he/she created. This person is selfish and not worthy to be a parent. I look back on my life and think of all the times I wanted my father to be a part of my life and realize that it was his lost. He missed the opportunity to see me excel in school, graduate with honors, complete law school and pass the bar. He missed the most important part of my life--the birth of my children and now he is missing watching two beautiful kids grow up. He has lost his opportunity to be my father.

If he came to me today, I don't really know what I would do. I no longer really feel like I need him in my life but would I deny him an opportunity to redeem himself by being a part of my children's lives? I don't know. As of now I don't have to worry about it, but I'm sure there re those of you out there who do have a similar situation occurring. Is it selfish to want to treat him/her the way he/she treated you? Or should you forgive him and do it for your children so they can know their grandparent? It's a hard situation.

The only truth I know is that there is nothing wrong with me and that I did nothing to deserve to be deserted by my father. I am a wonderful woman who recognizes her self-worth and am happy with who I am. Any one who would choose to miss out on that isn't worthy to be a part of it anyway.