Dependent Lovers

Do you spend all your free time with the one you love or at least really like? If so, then you may be co-dependents and sabotaging your relationship. I know it may seem like your lover is the only person in the world you want to be with. He/she understands you, makes you laugh, takes you out, cuddles with you, showers you with attention, makes sweet love to you. Everything is great. You don't want to be with anyone else and you began to neglect your family and friends because you would rather spend time with him/her. Eventually one of you begins to pull away, for various reasons, and suddenly the other is left feeling lonely and neglected. What do you do now? All those people you neglected are ticked at you and of course they will eventually forgive you if they really care about you, but you feel numb. You still want to spend all your time with your sweetie and are going through withdrawal. It sucks! Your perfect little world has been turned topsy-turvy and you can't handle it. This is the result of being dependent on another for everything. It is one of the more unhealthy types of relationships in my opinion.

In order to have a healthy productive relationship with another, you have to strike a balance between your lover, friends, family, and any other outside interest you had before meeting that person. Neglecting the life you led prior to dating this person will only lead to you eventually feeling inadequate, lonely, and unwanted; even if that isn't the case. No two people can spend all their time together and expect to be happy. It's too much. Having other things going on in your life let's you appreciate the time you do have with that special person and makes those moments so much more special.

Another scenario is that the person you are with felt alone in this world before you came alone. He/she didn't have a balanced life to begin with . I remember a few years ago a friend of mine telling me that he was with this girl whom he felt himself losing interest but he was too scared to leave her for fear that she may just shrivel up and die. He was her entire world. She had no one else. This type of relationship is emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. The person begins to feel trapped and can't breath. This type of relationship can lead to devastating results depending on just how weak the dependent person really is. It' s hard to break away from a relationship like this. Fear and guilt are holding you hostage. There is no easy way to end things, but for your sanity and well-being it is necessary. So if you or someone you know is in a relationship like this, it needs to end. No person should be completely dependent on another. Ever!!!!!!

This is all my personal opinion, I'm no relationship guru. So if you have any comments are helpful tips please share.