There's A Thin Line...

Is it possible to hate someone and love that person at the same time? There is a thin line between love and hate. When I was with my ex-boyfriend there were times when I felt like I truly hated him but I also still loved him. I mean I honestly felt hatred for him for the way that he treated me at times, yet I couldn't seem to stop loving him. Eventually he pushed me to my breaking point and I had to get him out fo my life. How is it that I managed to feel the two most extreme emotions from opposite ends of the spectrum for the same person. The heart is a strange thing. One would thing it would be impossible to feel hatred/love for a person. It seems improbable yet I'm sure I'm not the only person to ever feel that way about someone. Perhaps it has something to do with how much control/power a person has over you. I'm not really sure, but I would love to find out. I hope to never feel that way about another person again. I prefer to keep those two emotions separate.

Proper English

Anyone who grew up in the hood knows about being referred to as a white boy/girl simply because he/she speaks proper English and studies. Why is it such a horrible thing to want an education and want to leave the hood. Why are boys and girls who try to better themselves ridiculed for actually being smart? I have never understood this behavior and the sad part is that it doesn't necessarily come from children. There are adults who begrudge a child for speaking properly. Perhaps it is because of their own shortcomings and maybe a little jealousy that people feel the need to hate on those trying to better themselves. Since childhood I have always loved to read and I have always valued learning and wanting something more from life, most people would perceive these as great qualities; yet i was always made fun of in my "hood" because of these qualities. I still get the white girl comment whenever I go home. Of course, this is from a group of people who have failed to do anything with their lives and who are stuck in the same situation they were born into.

When are mothers in the ghettos across America going to finally encourage their children to study and try to move up in the world, instead of calling them stupid and discouraging them from ever trying to be something more. Sure there have always been a few mothers who have done this, but with the growth of teenage mothers who prefer to club than to help their children with homework, if they can, the future for ghetto youth seems disappointing. So many intelligent boys and girls are discouraged from doing well because they are scared of the teasing or worse yet they suffer the fate of having a child while a teenage and not having anyone around to let them know that that is not the end of the world. That you can still succeed. We need to get it together and be proud of those kids who aren't satisfied with a welfare check and slangin' dope and the inevitable choice between jail or hell.

It Ain't Hatin If You Tellin' The Truth

People take the term "hater" to extremes. You can't say anything to a person that he or she doesn't want to hear or disagrees with without the person accusing you of being a hater. Why is this? When did telling teh truth become "hatin"? I believe in being honest with people, for the most part. sometimes he truth isn't what you want to here and it can hurt, but it's not hatin'. Hatin' is when someone is jealous or envious of a person and therefore attempts to bring that person down and make him/herself feel better about his/her station in life. If someone makes a true statement about you and it's without malice, it's not hatin. The truth is the truth. I don't really envy anyone because no one's life is perfect. If I, being an intelligent black woman, tell you something; it's not to hurt you. I want to help you see the light. I have tact and I am not a spiteful person, so please believe me when I say that everyone who tells you something you may not like isn't hatin' on you. Yes the world is full of haters, but not everyone who isn't your biggest fan and kiss our butt is a hater. You know and I know it. So get over it. If you real, you can spot a hater from a mile away. Real recognizes real.

Getting In Touch With Your Star Player

Your star player: that's you. At the Katt Williams show last Friday, which was hilarious, part of his routine centered around getting in touch with your star player. That made me realize that I haven't been in touch with my star player. I've been spending too much time worrying about other people and their issues and trying to make them happy. It's time I get in touch with my star player--myself. I have been feeling really lost recently. Not enjoying life, not being happy, not getting my seven chuckles in whenever I can. I have lost touch with who I am and what I want, as a matter fo fact, I no longer know what I want. I'm in a slump. I have lost my way. I am like a sheep without a shepherd. What's a girl to do? Get in touch with her star player, that's what. It's time to focus on me, to focus n what I want, on what makes me happy, on getting my seven chuckles.

I know life is about sacrifice, but one should never have to sacrifice self in order to help or appease others. It's time people realized that life really is short and that it is time to enjoy oneself. One day you're here and the next you're gone. With the state of the economy and the worries over food and gas prices and the housing slump, people are becoming more stressed out as each day passes. We are forgetting about enjoying the life we have given to us and instead worrying about everything and trying to cut back cost. All I ask is that we all make some time for ourselves. Find something you truly enjoy and take advantage of your ability to do it. I for one am super excited about skydiving and plan on doing it at some point this summer. I am determined to get in touch with my star player, I hope you do the same.

Strange But True

I'm sure everyone has heard of the man who is actually a woman and has become artificially inseminated? Weird huh? This may be one of the strangest stories I've ever heard. I have no issues with being transgendered. It's okay if you feel like you are trapped in the wrong body, but if you really believe you should have been born a man, why not complete the process and fully become a man anatomically. If you believe you are a man, why do you want to have a baby? That's the role of a female. This story just boggles me. I can't seem to grasp the rationale behind the path this couple has taken. I understand the "real" female in the relationship couldn't get pregnant for some reason but why didn't they just adopt or use a surrogate? Does he/she plan on going back to being a "man" once the child is born and allowing the wife to play the mother role? I can just imagine the issues this child will face growing up and it's all because the parents had to sensationalize the experience. They could have went about this a little better for the sake of the child. All of this attention and publicity may not faze the couple, but are they thinking about the teasing this child will experience growing up once his peers find out his "mother" is actually his father. I hope they are ready to pay for some serious therapy.

This issue is so weird and bizarre that the media is eating it up, even Oprah is caught up in all the sensationalism. Why would this couple subject themselves to all this attention. Apparently they have a nice home and are business owners, so they live a decent life and aren't starving for money. Maybe they are attention whores, because that is the only reason I can see that would explain why they felt the need to may this public. They knew this was not a "normal" thing t do. Hell, their relationship isn't even viewed as normal to begin with and to go and add to it, you have to be looking for attention. It's not like they didn't know what would happen once this story got out. Why subject your family to all the ridicule and hateful comments. And why subject your child to it? The main goal of any parent is to protect and love your child. So why put a child in a position where he/she may be tormented based on your poor decision making? I feel bad for this child and hope that his/her parents live somewhere where people are accepting of this situation.

The scariest part of this to me is the possibility that the child may have health issues. I don't really know if taking hormones for years will have an affect on a fetus but I'm sure it has to be a possibility. This is the main reason I don't understand why this couple didn't use a surrogate? It would have been safer for the baby and without the ridicule. This story is just too strange for me.

Third Grade Criminal Masterminds

I'm sure everyone has heard the story of approximately nine Atlanta area third graders plotting to attack their teacher. It seems the teacher teaches children with "learning disabilities", which could mean a variety of things. My question is where did these children get this idea? I don't know of any third graders that would come up with a plan this elaborate on their own. These children even plotted on how to clean up the crime scene! WTF! Is it the influence of television that has brought this on? With the influx of crime related television shows it is definitely possible that these kids have seen the likes of CSI, Law & Order, Criminal Minds,...etc. Do these shows give rise to criminal behavior? I'm sure that question has been debated often, yet never truly answered. However, after this story broke I begin to question the true influence of the things we use for entertainment, i.e. television, movies, video games, music.

I don't believe these things have an immense affect on adults. I will never believe the theory some criminals or psychologist use to justify the behavior of adults; however I can see how young children can be influenced. Children often like to imitate the things they see or hear, which is why children do things like curse. they have no idea what the words they are saying mean, but they heard hem being used by someone else. Children are extremely susceptible. I'm not saying that is what happened in these case, but it does make the mind wonder if we should keep a closer watch on the things our children watch, see, and listen to. Third graders shouldn't know how to plot an attack. They shouldn't know that they need to clean up the crime scene. Third graders as criminal masterminds, just doesn't sit well with me. Somewhere, someone went wrong with these kids I don't know who to blame, but the finger has to be pointed at someone.

The downfall of successful black men is running rampant these days, I guess they thought they could play the same games their white counterparts play and still come out on top. Most recently Alphonso Jackson, Secretary of HUD, resigned from his post amid scandal over his alleged illegal conduct involving tilting HUD towards Republican contractors and cronies. His first mistake was becoming a Republican, but that's neither here nor there. Also in the news for the last year or so is one of my home state's Congressman William Jefferson. And we can't forget Kwame Kilpatrick who is accused of perjury for lying about his alleged illicit affair with his chief of staff. He has been accused of soliciting bribes to broker business deals in Africa. Cronyism and bribery are typical in politics, but mots often it involves white politicians, not African Americans. For some reason these men apparently believe they can survive such scandal and still have a career after this. Unfortunately, I find this doubtful, the white public is much less forgiving of non-white politicians and superstars than they are of their own kind. They will want to crucify these men and their political careers will be basically over. Only white politicians can lie, cheat, and steal; get caught; and steal retain their place in the political arena.

As black politicians, whether Republican or Democrat, these men should have known better than to attempt to play the same roles that many of their white counterparts do so well. As much as we want to believe in equality, in some areas, equality is definitely still just a myth. Politics is a ruthless game and it's dominated by white Americans. They know all the unwritten rules and they protect each other. As much as Alphonso Jackson wanted to be one of the "good ole boys," he could never truly be a part of the inner circle. His playing party favoritism was his way of trying to be on the inside looking out instead of vice versa. Sure his so called friends would go along with it, they would make millions and his Jackson's neck would be on chopping block when it caught up with the. It doesn't get any better than that. I wonder now how many of his cronies are standing by him and crying his innocence?

Black politicians on a large scale are hardly elected to major offices and so when we do get an opportunity to be in a position of power we should understand that we have to be twice as good and twice as smart as the next guy in the room. We can't afford to make stupid mistakes, no one will forgive us and it taints our entire population. Because with us, if one does something wrong well than that means every black person is just as guilty or capable of committing the same act. We are judged as a group, regardless of social standing, political affiliation, or religion. Once one black person makes a bad choice we all become guilty of the same behavior; guilt by race. On the other hand, whites are never lumped together, they are judged individually. No one accuses very white man of being a serial killer just because Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, and Jeffrey Dahmer were. Yet every black person is judged based on the actions of a few.

So no matter how much you believe you are equal to your white counterpart, society has yet to accept that belief. We just can't make the same mistakes whites make, because the punishment will be much more severe and once we fall from grace, we can't get up again. In a perfect world we would all be judged by the same standards, but as we all know, this world is far from perfect.