"You Can't Ride A Man's Back Unless It's Bent"

As we celebrate MLK today, I realize that despite his flaws, he was a highly intelligent man who spoke the truth as it was in his time for black people and that truth is still, sadly, relevant today. Dr, King once said "No nation can suffer any greater tragedy than to cause millions of its citizens to feel that they have no stake in their own society". No truer words have ever been spoken. The U.S. has spent well over a hundred years ensuring that black Americans feel demoralized, de-humanized and un-American. We were treated as property, bought and sold like a piece of meat. We were told by everyone including our Founding Fathers that we were less than a person. The harsh reality is this is still the case. Black Americans have never felt like was there country, despite it being built on their backs. It's this feeling of being inferior and not true Americans that has persisted for hundreds of years and even now plays a part in the cureent de-huminazation of Black Americans. If this country recognized Blacks as equal citizens, the many, many cases of unarmed Black men being killed would not be occuring. This mentality has also led to so many young Blacks not feeling as if they can succeed in life. They have never felt like a part of this society. The blame for this isn't solely that of those that seek to keep them down but they are also victims of their own defeatist mentality. Without a rememdy for both of these things, this country will never be as great as it could be.

Dying Wish

So I finished watching a reality show and the episode contained a scene in which a young woman, who is dying, was granted a dying wish. The dying wish was to meet this particular celebrity. This begged the question, if I were given a few months to live,what would be my dying wish, the one thing I had to do before leaving this Earth? As I sit here typing this, I don't know what that wish would be but I do know what it wouldn't be-meeting a damn celebrity. I know different people have different things that bring them joy but for some reason this really bothers me. This is due partly to knowing how we place these people on a higher pedestal simply because they are rich and bring us entertainment, forgetting that they are the same as us. We also seem to forget that we don't really know these people or how they are in their real lives, we only see what they want us to see. For me, if I were granted a dying wish, I wouldn't waste it on meeting a celebrity, someone I don't know and who probably won't show me the real him/her. I'd much rather travel to a place I've always wanted to see or do something I've always wanted to do but either couldn't afford or was to scared to take the risk. But then again, to each her own.

How Much Longer?

Black lives matter. As I try to wrap my mind around the decisions made in the wake of the deaths of so many of our Black men to not indict those who took their lives, it saddens me that after all the years we have fought just to be considered equal, that that is still not a reality. Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner, Oscar Grant, Amadou Diallo, Darrien Hunt, and the list goes on. All of these men died senseless deaths and received no justice. I don't condone bad nehavior by anyone. I won't make the argument that any of these men were angels, simply because it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the circumstances surrounding their deaths. Whether they deserve justice or not should not hunge on the color of their skin and whether they ever got in trouble. What angers me the most and allows me to view the men who commit these acts as racists, is the lack of remorse after the fact. You took someone's life and yet you feel no remorse? As a mother of a black son, I am petrified that one day it could be him lying dead on the pavement for hours. My son is a good child, he has never been in trouble, raised in the suburbs, he doesn't know how it feels to grow up black and poor and harbor so much anger and resentment against those who are supposed to protect you but even so he is still in danger, simply because of the color of his sking. What can I as a mother do to shield him and protect him when he's outside of my safety blanket? Do I tell him to obey everything a police officer tells him to do and never talk back even if he sees his white friends doing just that? Do I tell him to neevr make any sudden movements when confronted by the police? Do I tell him that because his skin is black, that his rights will be violated and nine times out of ten there will be no justice for those violations? Do I tell him that no matter how successful he becomes in live, even he he becomes president, he will always be viewe d as black first and thereby making him inferior in the eyes of others. Why is this the burden of every black mother with a son? How much longer can we suffer at the hands of ignorance before it all becomes too much? I don't deny that there is a huge problem in the black community with fathers not raising their children. I don't deny that there is black on black crime, usually gang violence. These are facts but so are the fact that so many of those committing crimes see no way out. They don't have any love in their lives or they are looking for protection and the only way to protect yourself and your family is to become part of the problem. With that being said, black people are not the only ones committing crimes but yet we are the only ones judged as a group. If a young black man in a gang kills another young black man in a gang, that image of them being criminals and murders is projected on to all young black men who may happen to live where they live or dress the way they dress. On the contrary, when a yound white male decides to shoot up an elementary school and kill 25 children, he was just a troubled young man. His peers are not judged by his actions. That has always been the burden of being black.

Alzheimers

I have never been around someone with this debilitating disease until recently. Witnessing first hand the affects of this disease is scary and I only pray it doesn't happen to any of my love one or myself. To lose your mind is incomprehensible. This past Friday I was backing out of my driveway to go pick my boyfriend up from oral surgery, when an elderly lady flagged my car down. Thinking it may be one of my neighbors, I stopped. The lady began speaking to me in Polish, of which I didn't understand a word but I was able to ascertain that she was lost and attempting to give me her address. Seeing how flustered and scared she was, I couldn't possible leave her there. So I decided to call some people I knew who spoke Polish and try and figure out what she was saying. It was determined that she was reciting her address in Poland. This elderly lady had no idea where she was and just wanted to go home, to Poland. By this time, I had figured out that she was most likely suffering from Alzheimer's. Eventually she was able to find a slip of paper in her purse which stated she was an Alzheimer's patient and provided an emergency contact number. Just my luck, the emergency contact person didn't pick up her phone any of the 4 times I called her. At this point, I had no choice but to call 311 and have the police come out. During this 40 minute ordeal, the poor lady just kept repeating her Polish address and my heart went out to her. To have your memory stripped away like that has got to be one of the most awful things to happen to a person. To not know who you are or where you are is frightening. I shutter to think what could have happened to her if someone with ill intentions had been the one to find her. How she got to my subdivision, I'll never know but I am thankful I was there to help and I pray that if I ever suffer from this disease there will be someone willing to help me. And thankfully my boyfriend was understanding as to why I was an hour late picking him up, I'm sure the drugs helped mellow him out.

First Elected Black Politician in Russia

I just read this story. Wonders cease to exist. This small Russian village elected an African to a political position. First black person to ever have that honor in Russia. Maybe if the entire world embraced people based on who they are as opposed to the color of their skin, racism could actually cease to exist; of course I wouldn't hold my breath for that. But it's always nice to here about a person of color excelling where no one would fathom he would. Below is the actual article from the Huffington Post:

NOVOZAVIDOVO, Russia — People in this Russian town used to stare at Jean Gregoire Sagbo because they had never seen a black man. Now they say they see in him something equally rare – an honest politician.

Sagbo last month became the first black to be elected to office in Russia.

In a country where racism is entrenched and often violent, Sagbo's election as one of Novozavidovo's 10 municipal councilors is a milestone. But among the town's 10,000 people, the 48-year-old from the West African country of Benin is viewed simply a Russian who cares about his hometown.

He promises to revive the impoverished, garbage-strewn town where he has lived for 21 years and raised a family. His plans include reducing rampant drug addiction, cleaning up a polluted lake and delivering heating to homes.

"Novozavidovo is dying," Sagbo said in an interview in the ramshackle municipal building. "This is my home, my town. We can't live like this."

"His skin is black but he is Russian inside," said Vyacheslav Arakelov, the mayor. "The way he cares about this place, only a Russian can care."

Sagbo isn't the first black in Russian politics. Another West African, Joaquin Crima of Guinea-Bissau, ran for head of a southern Russian district a year ago but was heavily defeated.

Crima was dubbed by the media "Russia's Obama." Now they've shifted the title to Sagbo, much to his annoyance.

"My name is not Obama. It's sensationalism," he said. "He is black and I am black, but it's a totally different situation."

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Inspired by communist ideology, Sagbo came to Soviet Russia in 1982 to study economics in Moscow. There he met his wife, a Novozavidovo native. He moved to the town about 100 kilometers (65 miles) north of Moscow in 1989 to be close to his in-laws.

Today he is a father of two, and negotiates real estate sales for a Moscow conglomerate. His council job is unpaid.

Sagbo says neither he nor his wife wanted him to get into politics, viewing it as a dirty, dangerous business, but the town council and residents persuaded him to run for office.

They already knew him as a man of strong civic impulse. He had cleaned the entrance to his apartment building, planted flowers and spent his own money on street improvements. Ten years ago he organized volunteers and started what became an annual day of collecting garbage.

He said he feels no racism in the town. "I am one of them. I am home here," Sagbo said.

He felt that during his first year in the town, when his 4-year-old son Maxim came home in tears, saying a teenage boy spat at him. Sagbo ran outside in a rage, demanding that the spitter explain himself. Women sitting nearby also berated the teenager. Then the whole street joined in.

Russia's black population hasn't been officially counted but some studies estimate about 40,000 "Afro-Russians." Many are attracted by universities that are less costly than in the West. Scores of them suffer racially motivated attacks every year – 49 in Moscow alone in 2009, according to the Moscow Protestant Chaplaincy Task Force on Racial Violence and Harassment, an advocacy group.

After the Soviet Union collapsed, Novozavidovo's industries were rapidly privatized, leaving it in financial ruin.

High unemployment, corruption, alcoholism and pollution blight what was once an idyllic town, just a short distance from the Zavidovo National Park, where Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and President Dmitry Medvedev take nature retreats.

Denis Voronin, a 33-year-old engineer in Novozavidovo, said Sagbo was the town's first politician to get elected fairly, without resorting to buying votes

"Previous politicians were all criminals," he said.

A former administration head – the equivalent of mayor in rural Russia – was shot to death by unknown assailants two years ago.

The post is now held by Arakelov, a veteran of the Soviet war in Afghanistan who says he also wants to clean up corruption. He says money used to constantly disappear from the town budget and is being investigated by tax police.

Residents say they pay providers for heat and hot water, but because of ineffective monitoring by the municipality they don't get much of either. The toilet in the municipal building is a room with a hole in the floor.

As a councilor, Sagbo has already scored some successes. He mobilized residents to collect money and turn dilapidated lots between buildings into colorful playgrounds with new swings and painted fences.

As he strolled around his neighborhood everyone greeted him and he responded in his fluent, French-African-accented Russian. Boys waved to Sagbo, who had promised them a soccer field.

Sitting in the newly painted playground with her son, Irina Danilenko said it was the only improvement she has seen in the five years she has lived here.

"We don't care about his race," said Danilenko, 31. "We consider him one of us."

30 Things Women Should Stop Doing By 30

I ran across this article a week or so ago and I found a few of the items interesting. Approaching 30 myself, I looked to see if I was guilty of still doing any of the things that made the list. There were many things on the list I would never do including making out with my friends at a bar simply because I never saw the appeal of kissing another girl. As for not having regular gyno exams, any grown woman who doesn't do that needs a reality check. By the time you are 30, you should know how important your health is, no excuses. As for living paycheck to paycheck, in this economy that is a definite reality even when you're 40. Most of the things on the list were things I didn't think a 25 year old should be doing let alone a 30 year old, but I'll let you be the judge. Here's the list:

1. Buying clothes from the junior section.
2. Forgetting her parents’ birthdays.
3. Making out with her BFFs at bars for attention.
4. Making out with her boyfriend at bars for attention.
5. Filling her bed with stuffed animals (really, even one is too many).
6. Carrying a torch for anyone she hasn’t seen in the last five years.
7. Rebelling against her parents for the sake of rebelling against her parents.
8. Declaring an entire gender “all jerks.”
9. Holding a grudge against anyone who wronged her in high school.
10. Skipping regular gyno exams.
11. Going to bed without washing and moisturizing her face.
12. Being “that person” who had a bit too much to drink at the office party.
13. Crushing on Justin Bieber.
14. Thinking she’s got it all figured out.
15. Calling her father “daddy.”
16. Engaging in sibling rivalry.
17. Trying to get by on her looks.
18. Living paycheck to paycheck.
19. Expecting a man/knight in shining armor to swoop in and save her.
20. Aimlessly jumping from job to job.
21. Using MySpace to pick up guys.
22. Expecting a man to do all the wooing.
23. Wishing she had someone else’s life.
24. Expecting everyone to drop everything because it’s her birthday ...
25. ... or because her “boyfriend” of two weeks dumped her.
26. Measuring her self-worth by a number on the scale.
27. Being cheap.
28. Quitting a job without having a new one lined up first (especially in this economy!).
29. Blaming her mother for all her issues.
30. Romanticizing her 20s.

Beauty Is In the Eye of the Beholder

I came across this article today about discrimination in the workplace based on looks and how there should be a federal law against discriminating on looks same as there is for sex and age and disability. In the news recently has been a story about a former Citibank employee suing her former employer for discriminating against her because of her looks. When I first read the story, I didn't think much of it; people get fired for worse reasons. Not many people get fired for being too sexy and hot. But that story coupled with this article makes me think; how much do hiring and firing decisions depend on your looks. We all know that they play a factor but not how big of a factor. Would NASA hire an astronaut with less skills but who happens to be beautiful rather than the balding, fat guy or slightly overweight acne prone extremely qualified female? Would you sacrifice quality of work just to have a pretty face around? Unlike race or age or disability, looks is something that most people can change to a certain degree to make themselves more aesthetically pleasing. Even if a company hired someone for their looks if that person failed to perform the job properly and costs the company money, he would surely be fired. Nothing comes before the bottom line. Would you hire someone based on looks or fire someone who became unsightly due to weight gain or any other causes or would you base your decision on who is the best person for the job?