Domestic Violence in Hollywood

The recent alleged altercation between Chris Brown and Rhianna has brought the topic of domestic violence to the forefront as of late. The situation is quite sad since these two young people had promising careers that may be tarnished or completely tainted now. There are a lot of people who are bashing Chris Brown and upholding Rhianna as an angel. I don't think this is right. Do I agree with him putting his hands on her, not at all; but I don't think he should be crucified either. What he needs is someone to really truly get him some help. Me calling him a horrible person won't change the situation or the fact that he obviously has a character trait that lends itself to abuse. What is true is that he's a 19 year old kid and its not too late to get him some help and teach him how to be a real man. I'm sure some people wonder how he could hit a woman after seeing his stepfather beat his mother, but that's probably the main reason he is susceptible to abusing someone. It's just like with child molesters, a lot of them were molested. It's behavior that was demonstrated to them and they end up emulating it. As a child who grew up in an abusive household, I know how that abuse can manifest itself in someone who lived with it. Chris Brown doesn't need to be crucified, he needs to be helped. With that being said, there are also reports from Rhianna's friends of past abuse, if this is a case than you breached your duty as a friend. If they really cared about her, they would have spoken out long before things escalated to this point. Hollywood is not immune to domestic violence, I'm pretty sure its pretty rampant there. So maybe all those people who are quick to judge Chris Brown and condemn him need to step up to the plate and help that friend or neighbor that they know is being abused. Let's stop acting like he's the first man to hit a woman or that he will be the last, just because your agent/manager/label has crafted a squeaky clean image for you, doesn't mean that's who you really are. Stop buying into what Hollywood is selling and realize that we are all human and that no one is perfect, not even Rhianna.

I'm waiting......

How long should a woman wait for a guy to propose? A year, two years, five years? I know this couple who dated for 11 years and then finally decided to get married, what took so long? I believe if you have been with a person for at least two years, then you should know by then if that is the person you want to spend your life with; if you can't without a doubt say yes this is the person I want, then perhaps it's time to say adios to that relationship. Why continue to string someone along, the longer you stay, the worse it''ll be.

I know there are those out there who claim to not see the value in getting married, especially if he/she lives with her/his significant other. They feel like it's just a piece of paper. Well if it's just a piece of paper, why are you so scared to get it? Women generally are in love with the idea of being married, we don't want to be your girlfriend forever. That just doesn't have the sound of longevity to it.

My boyfriend and I have had a few arguments about getting married. He claims he want to marry me but financially he doesn't feel like this is a good time. That's logical but to a woman it sounds like you're making excuses. I no longer want girlfriend status. I want to be wifey. I no longer want to play house, I want to get married and buy a house. I'm not enthralled with the idea of having a wedding, I'd be fine with the justice of the peace. I don't need all the pomp and circumstance, I just need the man. Once we feel as if we have found the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with, we no longer want to wait to make that fact known to the world. Keeping a woman waiting can be disastrous to a man, we will only wait so long. So while you're trying to decide if she's the one or if you can afford to marry her, don't be surprised if some other guy comes along and steals her away. As easy as it is to fall in love, it's just as easy to fall out of love. Time waits for no man.

2008

In a few days, 2008 will come to a close. It has been a helluva year. The economy is in the crapper, gas prices rose the highest in history while big oil reported record profits, the United States elected it's first non-white president while the Gov. of Illinois was charged with trying to sell the senate seat of the new president elect, R. Kelly got acquitted and O.J. got convicted, and Jennifer Hudson lost her mother, brother, and nephew in a horrific murder. The year has been a crazy one.

For me personally, 2008 was pretty eventful. I started a new life in a new city, I got my own family, I moved into a fantastic apartment, I experienced my first major snow shower, I took a major step towards commitment in my relationship, I had some major blow-ups in my relationship, I took a vacation out of the country, I decided to take my fate in to my own hands, and I most of all lived my life the way I wanted. As 2008 comes to a close, I pray that 2009 is even better to me. 2009 should bring some happy events, such as me getting engaged ;-), passing the Illinois Bar Exam and branching out on my own. I'm optimistic about the coming year. Life is what we make it. So if your 2008 wasn't that great, it's up to you to make 2009 much better. Even if you aren't where you want to be in life, there is something to be happy about and a reason to be optimistic about your future. Things change daily, so never judge tomorrow based on today.

I'm So Hood

Just because you are from the hood, it doesn't mean you have to act hood. As someone who grew up in the hood, I know first hand how typical individuals from that environment can act and how the rest of America expects them to act. However, I don't believe that you should let your environment define who you are. Like Tupac said just because you're in the ghetto, doesn't mean you can't grow. They are many highly successful individuals who saw their potential and made it out of the hood. This are the people who understood that just because you grow up in the ghetto it doesn't mean you have to act ghetto. There's no reason to walk around with a chip on your shoulder, always mad and yelling, always ready to fight and be just plain disrespectful. These are not flattering qualities. Why people embrace them I don't know. I do believe that anyone who grew up in the hood can let that hood come out when pushed to that point, that's just how it is. I don't advocate being "fake" or anything of that nature but I do believe in being respectful and acting like you have some common sense. That's what it boils down to for me: common sense. One should know how to act when in certain surroundings, it's just that plain and simple. It's a part of being an adult. Being ghetto is counter-productive and limits you ability to move up in life. That's just how the world works. And most of all its annoying embarrassing childish behavior often that is uncalled for. That's just my opinion.

"The One"

When it comes to relationships, people often spend years or sometimes even a lifetime searching for "the one". I question whether there is such a thing as "the one". There are over 6 billion people on Earth and we are expected to believe that there is only one other person out of all those people that you were meant to be with? If that's true, what if your true soul mate is someone who lives in Thailand or Uganda or Iceland and you never meet that person. I can't believe that there is only one person out there for me. I do believe my boyfriend is the person that I want to spend my life with but that doesn't mean there isn't someone 100 miles away or even 100,000 miles away that is perfect for me and that I would love just as much. So may people are disappointed when "the one" ends up being "the wrong one". How would you even know if the person you are with is "the one"? Matters of the heart are trick things and the heart can play tricks on us, so how can one really ever know if the person you love is your soul mate, if there is such a thing?

OMG!!!!!!

As I write these words, Barack Hussein Obama is the projected winner of the 2008 Presidential Election. Words can not explain the monumental meaning of this. Someone of part African-American descent will be the President of the United States. This is such a historical event that I's sure MLK, Malcolm X, Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, Tupac, and Biggie are having a glass of cognac and at least doing a two step. To witness this colossal happening is a great privilege not only for me but for children also. Seeing a black man do the unimaginable will serve to show my children that Yes they can do whatever they put they minds to. This will perhaps be the greatest fete in the 21st century. Obama winning gives me renewed hope in the human race and that means a great deal to me. Perhaps society is finally ready to embrace change and stop all the hate. And Tupac said we would never live to see a black president. I hope he's smiling up in thug heaven because YES WE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Senseless Killings

I just saw the report that a child's body was found in the trunk of Jennifer Hudson's murdered brother's missing SUV and we all know that the body will be identified as her missing nephew. I am deeply sadden by the events that have taken place this weekend and the tragedy that has befallen her family. As a mother, hearing about the death of a child breaks my heart especially when the child dies at the hands of brutality. Whoever murdered this family is a cold callous psychopath. Anyone who can take the life of a child has no heart and no conscience. It seems that everyday someone takes the life of another person. What has the world come to? The number of senseless killings seems to have magnified in recent years, with the youth of today having no value for human life not even their own. Senseless killings like that of Hudson's family should not go unpunished and hopefully the perpetrator is caught. My mind is just reeling from the news of this massacre. I don't really have the words to explain how angry this makes me. I'm so tired of reading about the murder of innocent people who have done nothing to deserve to lose their lives. What the hell is wrong with people? Will the killing ever stop? Is there anything we as a people can do to stop it? I have a lot of questions but no answers, hopefully someone else does.